An emotional week

What to say... there is nothing other than the harsh truth. I lost my grandpa this week.

 

It’s been an emotional roller coaster this week. I learned Tuesday afternoon that my grandpa died. It was incredibly hard to here all the way over here. I felt so helpless and the only thing I really wanted was to hug all my family because with all of these new party-party people in my life I felt all alone.

The week felt so weird being surrounded by so many people but feeling so alone. I am thankful for the camp and all the kids that I get to have in my life here. There is no place where you can feel more loved. There are usually two kids holding my hands and one hugging me around my waist. It helps but still I felt down for the most of the week thinking about what my family was going through; arrangements, visitations, the funeral and the rest of it. I tried to keep myself as distracted as possible, so it’s been a busy week.

Monday I had camp and it was a normal day with the addition of playing soccer in the afternoon. I don’t think I mentioned that I have been helping Shawn and Kelly (the chicken coop project people, and some of my best friends here) with their soccer initiative on Monday nights. It’s a lot of fun but sometimes when they don’t have many kids come out it turns into Kelly playing soccer with the kids and Shawn and I chatting like old friends.

There was a birthday on Tuesday night, so I tried to keep my bad news to myself and the bottle of rum that was with me.  Wednesday at camp we handed out t-shirts to all the kids for the first time in Camp Esperanza history. It was amazing to see how excited the kids were to get the very own new t-shirts. They were told that they didn’t have to wear the shirts every day but I swear half of the kids are wearing them every day.

Thursday all the volunteers headed over to Anthony and Fiona’s house for an afternoon by the pool. It was a really nice time to hang out and get to know everyone a little better. That is the plus side of keeping myself so busy this week; I finally feel like I am getting to know everyone.

On Friday at camp we had a bus full of high school aged volunteers from all over the US come and volunteer for one day. It was great to have the extra help and to get new games, songs and ideas from them. We also finished the mural I started! Later we went to Lagoona Dudu to swim and jump off cliffs. I had already been and no I didn’t jump, it looked way to scary. However I did enjoy the pretty scenery, swimming in the lagoon and more socializing.

Saturday we had nothing planned and I set out to aimlessly walk around town, just as I was headed home I ran into Alyssa and Julia. I asked them where they were going as they were getting into a vehicle and they said “The Bohca, come!” This is my all time favorite beach, it spans for so far that you can go for two hour walks away from everyone and everything but come back to the middle and be in party central. Despite having my bathing suit of even a towel to sit on I jumped in and away we went.

Sunday there was another birthday, Adrienne’s. We had planned on getting this fishing boat to take us to this natural pool; I really had no idea what this would look like but agreed to it. However the seemingly endless rain this week intervened again. So instead she wanted to go to the Bohca! So I went again, but as soon as we got there black dark clouds filled the sky and it rained all day but we took cover under one of the little restaurants huts and stayed and ate and drank despite the rain. However it was a 30 minute long and wet walk back to just the gua gua plus the squishy ride home, I don’t think the others already in the gua gua wanted me in my dripping wet state to squeeze in there, but I did.  

Monday (today) at camp we did a special presentation with the oldest group of kids. We had worked on this all week and you can see the final results in the video (pending it works)! ... ok it didn't work but I will eventually get it on YouTube and share the link after stealing internet for several hours :)

 If I am being honest hearing the news at the beginning of the week was rough and talking with my family is so hard to do without just wanting to be there. However it feels surreal to think that my grandpa is really gone and really it’s hard to feel sad when he doesn’t exist in my life here. I know it will become real when I get home.

This is the part of my trip where I just want to be home, I miss my family, I want a hot shower, a toilet seat and a big chicken burger. I only have 6 more weeks which are going to fly by I am sure, but it has just been a hard week. To be honest I don’t much feel like blogging this week but having hit 1000 page views and hearing raved reviews I appreciate the support you are all showing me in being here. So I know this wasn’t my best post but I wanted to thank you all for reading. There is a few more to come!

I love you all so much!